bombing:

i don’t care if you think it’s “improper first date attire” this suit of armor is enchanted and i’m wearing it

posted 22 hours ago with 30,505 notes via swarnpert (Source: bombing)

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

I BROKE MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON HELP ME

have you tried turning it off and back on again

I HIT IT REALLY HARD AND STILL HASN’T TURNED OFF

there is no need to shout ma’am. have you tried turning it off and back on

I AM NOT SHOUTING

IT DOESN’T TURN OFF

ma’am, ma’am, have you tried turning it on & off again

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

I have a really hot waiter.

Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.

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wanna know what these all say?

"suck his dick"

tonydinozzos:

i was just showing my mom how to paste something into her text message on her phone and i was like “double tap in the the text box” “the text box” “the text box” and she was just pointing to random places on her screen that weren’t the text box and all i could think of was

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fvming:

To think that 5894 days ago I was just sperm, I think I’ve come a long way

posted 1 day ago with 22,847 notes via irishgrandpa (Source: fvming)

y2kv2:

if your BAC is over 0.6% you die

posted 1 day ago with 19,355 notes via unclefather (Source: y2kv2)

lyssadanielle8:

this is everything though

offendpoppunk:

offendpoppunk:

remember last summer when american eagle had that modelling contest where you submit your picture to get votes and if you get into the top 20 votes your picture is displayed at times square in new york

i submitted this photo of me about to sneeze

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i placed 12th and i was on the times square billboard for two weeks

i hate each and every single one of you all

posted 1 day ago with 387,942 notes via sorry (Source: babyhongbin)

raider-nails:

penofham:

penofham:

Anyone who reblogs this with a load of text trying to justify their shitty actions is only further proving my point, so I dare you.

I fixed a painfully obvious spelling mistake. Please reblog this version.

I could not agree more

becomebraver:

I HAVE FOUND THE CUTEST THING ON THE INTERNET

officialswagmom:

hes reading the biology book upside down 

dammiterielle:

FUCK

plop-alot:

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